The Endless Process of Creating Myself

Who am I? The answer to that question is continuously changing, and there’s something beautiful about that.

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Escher’s “Drawing Hands”

Imagine a blank canvas.

You’re conceived, and a single stroke appears.

You’re born, and more strokes appear, creating the outline of a image.

You grow, details emerge, and the outline of the image becomes clearer.

You get to your twenties, you’re bombarded with experiences, and a flurry of strokes fill the four corners of the canvas.

You age, layers form, details blossom, the image becomes well-defined, and the strokes start to fit together.

You think you’ve arrived at your destination and the painting is finished, but no, something unexpected happens to you and a few new strokes emerge.

You grow confident in the painting, until a profound experience changes your perspective and more strokes are added that give new meaning to each stroke that came before it.

The beautiful thing about art is you can never be completely finished with it. A painting, a song, a movie, a book, might mean something to you today, but could take on new meaning in the future. We, as people, are no different. Who you become will more than likely be different than who you are in this moment. Life happens and it will continue to change you in ways you may not expect. Hence, the painting analogy. We are all works of art. And like art, we are never truly complete. Details are continuously added. Strokes are endlessly refined. It might be as small as a movie that comes to change your outlook on life, or as big as an accident that jolts your fear of death.

For me, it started with the TV show, Heroes. Heroes taught me that I, too, could be extraordinary, and it helped me realize that I wanted to be a hero, whether to one person or one million, directly or indirectly. Then, came American Beauty, a movie that taught me to appreciate the beauty in the world, in life, and in the little details of both. It taught me how to see the beauty in everything and everyone, and through that, I learned to appreciate small things, which greatly improved my quality of life.

Combined, Heroes and American Beauty helped me realize the profound effect, and power, media can have, which led to a career change where I chose the path of Communications. Studying Communication, the way we and the world converse, then led me to discovering a love for writing, a form of communication, and then editing, improving communication. Those two things are now what I envision myself doing in the future, and my hope is to use writing to accomplish the goal Heroes instilled in me.

All of these points in my life are connected. Heroes pointed me in the right direction. American Beauty gave me a push. Without one or the other, I probably wouldn’t have arrived at Communications. Had I not arrived at Communications, I would not have discovered writing, and then editing. Each of these events were an isolated stroke on my canvas, until they started to coalesce. Each gave meaning to the other, and continue to do so.

While all connected, all of these things were unexpected, leading me to believe that things will continue to happen, and continue to give meaning to everything that came before it, adding strokes and details to the painting that is me, because I am endlessly creating myself.

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I strive towards a career that ends up leaving me somewhere between Howard Beck and Howard Beale.

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