Alternative Snacks and a Few Snickers

A poem about three friends united by their need for alternative snacks.

Howard Chai
1 min readApr 11, 2017
(Image via: The Charlotte Observer)

There once was a woman named Kellyanne Conway,

who, one day, appeared on NBC’s airwaves.

She said her friend offered alternative snacks:

Doritos, Oreos, or crackers?

Mrs. Conway’s friend was named Sean Spicer,

Who, I say, could not be any wiser.

He compared his facts to reports about the weather,

But he meant to say caramel Werthers.

Kellyanne and Sean had a friend named Donald,

Who, I hear, really likes to fondle.

His last name is Trump, and he is a little plump,

He said, “I’ll take the crackers.”

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Howard Chai

I strive towards a career that ends up leaving me somewhere between Howard Beck and Howard Beale.