The Entire List of Actions and Their Scores On “The Good Place”

NBC’s “The Good Place” premiered on Monday, Sept. 20.

Earlier this week, NBC’s new comedy, “The Good Place”, debuted. The show follows Kristen Bell’s Eleanor as she wakes up to find herself in the utopian “Good Place” after dying. She then is taken on a tour of the campus (so many frozen yogurt places) before sitting in on orientation (like college). In this orientation, the designer of this particular neighbourhood of The Good Place, Michael (Ted Danson), explains how everyone got there, mentioning the fine-tuned point system they used, in what is most like the best screencaps of any new TV show this Fall:

To gain a clearer view of this point system, here is every single act arranged according to their moral score:

Disclosure: numbers below may not be pinpoint accurate due to on-screen numbers fluctuating

End slavery: +814292.09

Hosted refugee family (5 people/Syria/Three years): +282803.09

Drove to out-of-state disaster site, helped with relief effort (x3): +147412.73

Donated 16.38% of lifetime income, anonymously, to charities: +87434.89

Let someone merge in traffic (x7329): +12118.13

Never discussed veganism unprompted: +9885.55

Hold door for person behind you (x4090): +8882.31

Installed solar panels (house, arid environment): +1994.49

Self-monitored potentially nauseating mouth sounds while chewing (x2.6m): +1982.05

Brought own bags to grocery store: +1980.43

Saved a person from house fire: +1909.47

Save a child from driving: +1202.33

Ignored text message during in-person conversation: +1094.07

Donated blood (x52): +911.72

Gave out full-size candy bars at Halloween: +633.59

Rehabilitated pit bull (x16): +491.34

Ate vegan: +432.04

Purify water source (village): Pop.>150): +295.98

Began to compose social media post about David Bowie dying then thought “the world doesn’t need to hear my thoughts on David Bowie dying”: +224.19

Researched West Indies text cricket tournament results to facilitate conversation with father-in-law (x14): +100.02

Gracefully end conversation about the weather (x94): +99.31

Maintain composure in line at water park in Houston: +61.14

Helped mom with her printer (x339): +60.09

Remain loyal to the Cleveland Browns: +53.83

Carefully put spider outside (x28): +40.02

Attend cousin’s friend’s child’s jazz dance recital: +31.57

Helped a hermit crab find a new shell: +18.05

Remember sister’s birthday: +15.02

Politely tolerating stranger recounting New Yorker article at cocktail party: +12.23

Plant baobob tree in Madagascar: +9.40

Fixed broken tricycle for child that loves tricycles: +6.60

Hug sad friend: +4.98

Carefully stepped over flower bed: +2.09

Scratch elbow: +1.06

Eat a sandwich: +1.04

Pet a lamb: +0.89

Sing to a child: +0.69

Fixed broken tricycle for child who is indifferent to tricycles: +0.04

Buy a trashy magazine: -0.75

Blow nose by pressing down on one nostril and exhaling: -1.44

Use “Facebook” as a verb: -5.55

Stiff a waitress: -6.83

Use the term “bro-code”: -8.20

Steal copper wiring from decommissioned military base: -16.00

Fail to disclose camel-illness when selling camel: -22.22

Overstate personal connection to tragedy that has nothing to do with you: -40.57

Tell a woman to smile: -53.83

Disturb coral reef with flipper: -53.83

Rev a motorcycle: -64.42

Ruin opera with boorish behavior: -90.90

Root for New York Yankees: -99.15

Harassment (sexual): -731.26

Be commissioner of professional football league (American): -824.55

Poison a river: -4015.55

Commit genocide: -433115.25

Interesting observations:

  1. Telling a woman to smile or disturbing a coral reef with a flipper exactly cancels out remaining loyal to the Cleveland Browns.
  2. The score for fixing a tricycle for a child depends on the child’s fondness of tricycles.
  3. Being NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is worse than committing sexual harassment.

Agree or disagree with the scores? Anything interesting stick out to you? Comment below and/or share with your friends!

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I strive towards a career that ends up leaving me somewhere between Howard Beck and Howard Beale.

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